Chapter 4: What I’m Learning While She Sleeps
“For those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.”
— Romans 8:28
After 33 years, I shouldn’t be surprised when God reminds me that He is the Great Orchestrator. He is so good. So capable.
This year has been a wild ride, to say the least. Having Maggie amidst the chaos of 2020 has deeply convicted me of my need to grow in the discipline of reading God’s Word. That conviction—paired with the challenge of reading biographies of faithful women—has been a sweet, stretching season. As I pray for the woman Maggie will become, I’m also praying to become the woman she needs me to be.
When Adam suggested we read the book of Job this summer, I agreed—but if I’m honest, I wasn’t thrilled. And yet, it’s been wonderful. Wrestling with Job’s story while studying the lives of women like Joan of Arc, Susanna Wesley, and Hannah More has given me a deeper lens for suffering, faithfulness, and legacy. One of the resources that’s helped anchor me through this journey has been the Family Worship Bible Guide. Many of the prayers I wrote down below were inspired by it.
To be totally honest, I don’t think I’ve ever truly let myself wrestle with Job until now. This book is rich—it speaks so deeply to our relationship with God and the problem of suffering. In just a few chapters, it touches on themes of entering into others’ pain, the sacredness of lament, and God’s invitation to bring our doubts, our frustrations, and our honest questions before Him. It reminds me that God would rather meet us in our messy faith than watch us perform a perfect one.
This morning I jotted down some prayers for Maggie from chapters 1–7. Here are a few:
Chapter 2: May you have friends who seek to minister to you in your trials—and grace when they don’t do it well.
Chapter 3: When you walk through suffering, may the Lord build a bridge between your belief and your experience. May He deepen your trust in Him.
Chapter 4: May you always know that God can handle your questions. He welcomes your lament.
Chapter 5: May your heart be tender to the Word of God when it convicts you. May you submit quickly and joyfully.
Chapter 6: May you never ignore the burdens of others. May you enter in with humility. And may I, as your mother, never dismiss your worries or invalidate your pain. And if (when) I do, may I be humble enough to ask for your forgiveness.
Also Chapter 6 (and Hebrews 4:15, Psalm 73, 77, 78): May we, as a family, always go to God with our complaints—remembering that He has invited us to boldly approach His throne of grace.
Lay your heart bare before the Lord, little girl.
It took me far too long to realize that it’s okay to be messy. To not have it all together. God doesn’t want your performance—He wants you.
