Chapter 3: The First Time I Saw You

The next day was a long day, too.
You were born around 11 p.m., and I had to wait at least a full 24 hours to see you.

Your dad was amazing. He visited you, came back and showed me pictures, talked to your doctors and nurses, and did his best to keep me informed and connected. But it was so hard. I felt even more out of control—and now uninvolved. I hated being separated from you. I hadn’t seen you, hadn’t touched you.

Finally, 24 hours passed, and they began prepping me to see you. Your dad wheeled me upstairs… but we were turned away.

The pod was full—doctors and nurses were surrounding another baby in crisis, undergoing an end-of-life surgery. How heartbreaking.
It would be 6 more hours of waiting.

We had such mixed emotions. How could we be upset when another family was experiencing something far more devastating than we were? And yet, I longed to see you. We prayed for that family and waited for the clear.

It finally came.
I got to see you.
I got to touch you.

What a precious moment.

On our way out of the NICU, I ran into an occupational therapist I knew—I’d gone to school with her husband. It was such a gift to see a familiar face. She arranged to come meet us the next day to help me hold you and begin kangaroo care. I couldn’t wait.

Facebook post from that night:
My heart is overflowing. The wait has finally been lifted and we were able to see our girl around 4:30 this morning. I could not wait to get my eyes AND hands on her. She’s feisty and is a great advocate for where she wants you to touch her. She let me love on her and put her to sleep, we had our first big diaper change, and we even opened our eyes! Waiting to see you was so painful, baby girl, but you are every bit worth the wait. More updates to come.

We got to hold you.
We had our first family photo.
You lay on my chest while tears streamed down my face.

The nurses were so kind and helpful. Many of them had cared for our friends’ baby, Daniel, during his six-month NICU stay at UNC. Somehow, we felt known by these strangers. God continued to surround us with His love in the most unexpected ways.

You stayed in the hospital for a total of 17 days.
Seventeen days of prayer and praise.
Seventeen days of hard moments and seeing God come through—over and over and over.

I made a little book for you—a scrapbook of memories and pictures from the day before you were born until your original due date. God sent nurses to love on us, celebrate with us, and grieve with us when we couldn’t see you because another family needed extra care. They watched over you when all we could do was think about you.

Our church poured out prayers, brought us meals, and checked in on us—especially on the day we had to leave you in the NICU. That was such a difficult day. Momsie and Papa took care of us, made sure we were fed and loved. Momsie and I opened all your gifts and organized your nursery—that gave me hope. You would be home soon. This was just a season of separation.

And then—finally, after 17 days of tubes, glucose checks, oxygen levels, heart rate monitoring, temperature regulation, transitioning from tubes to a bottle, and a constant flow of medical professionals…

You came home.

And you’re here with us.

We’re still figuring out your GI needs, but God has given us a wonderful specialist. You are healthy and growing. You are curious and funny. You love baths, your vibrating chair, music, bird sounds, walks in your stroller, and being held.

You are our Mighty Maggie.
Our little miracle girl.
God’s great gift to us.

We love you.

May this story—and all the ones that follow—remind you:

You are loved by many.
You have been prayed for by many.
You’ve been teaching your mama about God even before you were conceived.

Your life has purpose.

You are called to be a strong woman.
You are made in the image of God.
He has a great purpose for you.

This world is chaotic, broken, and dark.
But there is always hope.
Nothing about your story is an accident—from when you were born, to how you were born, to this very day.

Embrace your strengths and weaknesses.
You don’t have to “be” anything or “do” anything to have value.
You are valuable because you are made in His image.

That’s enough.
That’s everything.
Everything else is just a bonus.