To the End: Loving Like Jesus When We Feel Done
Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
— John 13:1, ESV
I just love that phrase—"He loved them to the end."
But the Greek word used here, telos, doesn’t mean “the end” as in over or finished. It means fully. Completely. It carries the sense of fulfilling a purpose or reaching the goal. Jesus didn’t just love His disciples until the end of His life—He loved them to the fullness of love’s intent.
That got me thinking about all the times I’ve said, “I’m done.”
Done giving.
Done extending grace.
Done trying.
At the end of my patience, my capacity, or my strength.
But Jesus’ “to the end” is so different from our “I’m at my end.”
Loving someone to my end is rooted in limits.
Loving someone to His end is rooted in purpose—and joy.
We Are Not a Chore to Jesus
We are never an obligation to Jesus. Never a line item on His divine to-do list.
We are His purpose and His joy.
And the challenge? Just a few verses later, Jesus says we are to love in this exact way:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
— John 13:34–35, ESV
Wow. That’s a high calling. An impossible bar—if I’m relying on myself.
A World Starved for Love
And yet, the world is hungry for this kind of love. Starving for it, really. For belonging. For connection.
Just look at these findings from a 2021 study on friendship in the U.S.:
10% of women and 15% of men report they don’t have a single friend.
The percentage of women with more than 10 close friends dropped from 28% to 11%; for men, from 40% to 15%.
61% of adults say they feel lonely.
The world is lonely—and we have the answer.
Why? Because friendship isn’t just a social need—it’s part of our design.
It’s rooted in the Trinity itself. It existed before the fall. It’s woven into creation. It’s God’s own solution to man being alone (Genesis 2). Community is not a side benefit—it’s a reflection of who God is.
The Honest Confession: I Often Love Out of Me, Not Him
But if I’m honest?
Most days I love out of April—not out of Christ.
I love to my end, not His.
Remember 1 Corinthians 13? It says love is patient, kind, not boastful, not proud, not self-seeking. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.
Well… I am not always patient. I can be proud. I do keep score.
And verse 8? “Love never fails.”
Y’all, I fail all the time.
As I get older, I’m increasingly aware of how desperately I need God to intervene—so that my people are loved not out of my personality or energy or capacity, but out of His supernatural grace.
So What Makes Jesus’ Command New?
Warren Wiersbe says this command is not “new in time” but new in experience.
Yes, love has always been part of God’s story. But now—post-cross, post-resurrection—we are filled with the Holy Spirit.
We don’t just try harder to love. We are transformed to love.
Now we can love in a way that the world takes notice of—a love so radical, Jesus says, “by this, all people will know you are My disciples.”
What Does That Love Look Like?
It’s a love that embraces the other fully—but also offers myself fully.
It’s a love that says: Let’s go to the cross together, because we both need it.
It’s a love that admits, I can’t love you well unless Christ helps me.
This kind of love is not always polished. It’s not always pretty.
But it’s desperately dependent on the only One who never fails.
A Question for You (and Me)
When I look at my relationships—
Am I loving people in a way that can be explained by my natural skills, strengths, and personality?
Or does my love reflect a desperate dependence on Jesus?
Because that’s what John 13 love looks like:
Love that initiates.
Love that endures.
Love that goes all the way to the cross.
Love that says, “I’ll love you to His end, not just mine.”
What would shift in my friendships, my marriage, my ministry, my parenting—
if I stopped loving from my limit, and started loving from His fullness?
Lord, teach us to love to the end.
To Your end.
