What Judas Is Teaching Me About Spiritual Growth
Lately I’ve been sitting in John 13, picturing the table Jesus set for His disciples before He went to the cross. And then I heard a sermon from Tim Keller that I haven’t been able to shake. Add in a new Phil Wickham song on repeat, and yep—pretty much all the feels.
Here’s what landed so heavy: Judas had incredible input. He had incredible output. He had the best small group, the best preacher, the best training, the best example. And yet, he didn’t get it. He was never changed by the Spirit.
That truth has been sitting with me. Because I often say that success in the Christian life isn’t measured in output. But if I’m honest, I don’t always live that way. I slip into running to the next thing, assessing how much I’ve done, how well I’ve done it, or how much I think I’ve glorified God through my efforts. And yet the deeper call isn’t about what I’ve produced. It’s about whether I’m dwelling with Him. Whether the Spirit is changing me.
Keller pointed out some hard but necessary questions: If I asked my friends, would they say I’m better at forgiving this year than I was last year? Am I less sensitive to criticism? Am I less dependent on praise? Am I different than I was twelve months ago? Am I changing?
Click here for the full sermon.
It’s easy for me to focus on questions like: Am I more disciplined? Am I more organized? Am I healthier? Am I getting things done? But the deeper questions are more searching: Am I more gracious? A better wife, mom, or friend? Am I more attuned to the Spirit’s leading, even when it makes me uncomfortable? Do I care more for the lost, for my co-workers, for my family? Am I praying more faithfully for the family member I’ve quietly struggled to believe will ever become a Christian? Am I becoming a better neighbor?
Those are the marks that matter. Not input. Not output. But evidence of the Spirit’s life in me—slow, steady, real change. That’s the measure. That’s the miracle.
What Judas Iscariot tells us is it is absolutely incredibly important to ask: are the fruit of the Spirit growing in my life? Not how much I know or how many people’s lives have been changed through me, but has my own life been changed? — Tim Keller
Not how much do I know. Not how many lives have been changed through me. But—is my own life being changed?
And if I’m brave enough to invite someone close to me to answer that question… what would they say?
Questions for Reflection
Where do you find yourself measuring most often — by input, by output, or by fruit?
If you asked a close friend, “Have you seen me change?” — what do you think they would say?
Which fruit of the Spirit feels least visible in your life right now? How might you pray for growth there?
When was the last time you repented quickly and joyfully, rather than defensively or with shame?
This week, invite one person who knows you well to answer one of Keller’s questions for you. Then, instead of defending yourself, simply thank them and ask God to grow His fruit in you.
